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Putting The Pieces Together

0 Comments 08 November 2010

I really can’t remember the first time I saw The Mission with Jeremy Irons and Robert DeNiro.  I do remember being moved in the depths of my soul.  There are moments like that in our pasts that stick with us.  I watched it again this weekend and I was no less affected.  The reality is that I was probably far more affected than I was when I saw it years and years ago.

This journey of piecing together the ship of my life, of discerning which pieces from the first half of my life will build the hull of the future, has been and continues to be intriguing.  I have written before about the tempting desire to disregard one’s first chapters once we come into a fuller understanding of what truly matters in mid-life.  However, I am moving more towards a middle ground on this issue.

The very substance and essence of who we are, who we were created to be in this lifetime is there from the beginning.  This is not at all to say that it is not marred and misguided along the path of our youth and our young adulthood through various experiences and relationships, but it is there, even if it is in a much more primal form.  As I look back on the things that have been touch points, if you will, throughout my life, even in the most misguided times, I see “myself” as I am today and as I hope to be.

I write a lot about how I lost my voice and even became a mouthpiece for things that I now find heart-breaking.  It can be easy to overlook the moments of light in years that seem but darkness.  I have been reminded, by other women, that even the years or decades that I wonder about, were indeed full of ME; full of who I am at my best.

I don’t have anything figured out yet, nor, honestly, do I ever think that I will this side of heaven, but…I am learning and growing.  And for me, watching a movie like The Mission only propels me forward.  Why?  The things that burn within my soul, the sense of justice and the desire for mercy, are the backbone of this film and the things that compel me today.

I am going to be writing about The Mission and different insights that I have learned.  Hope you’ll join the discussion…and watch the movie!

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things to make you wonder~

“I am a frayed and nibbled survivor in a fallen world, and I am getting along. I am aging and eaten and have done my share of eating too. I am not washed and beautiful, in control of a shining world in which everything fits, but instead am wondering awed about on a splintered wreck I've come to care for, whose gnawed trees breathe a delicate air, whose bloodied and scarred creatures are my dearest companions, and whose beauty bats and shines not in its imperfections but overwhelmingly in spite of them...” Annie Dillard

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