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Does it look a little “rebellious?”

3 Comments 17 April 2010

Those were the words that my husband used when he saw the artwork for the header for my blog.  My immediate thought was “hell yeah!”  He, of course, was saying this as a word of caution.  He wanted me to be sure that I didn’t alienate anyone who might possibly read my blog.  He didn’t want me to scare anyone off.  He wanted me to consider my audience and who I am trying to appeal to with my writing.  I began to laugh.

Don’t get me wrong, I am not trying to be altogether insensitive, but I just looked at him with this look of amazement and said, “Honey, that is the point of this blog, of my life, of what I am saying constantly.”  You see, I am not honing my writing, curtailing it or squishing it into some nice and neat little mold so that it is sure to not offend or scare off a particular group of women.  I am writing about learning and living and my life experience.  I am writing about how it is stifiling to try and live your life constantly scanning the radar for who is listening and who is watching and what they want from you and how you can tweak yourself to make them happy.  I am writing about how it is freeing and fulfilling to walk upright and breath deeply as your authentic self even if it means that you live your entire life as misunderstood and under appreciated.  I am writing about thriving as you were meant to be.

It may sound corny, but it is true, and if you have carried the weight of living out of deficit, you know what I mean.  I believe, in my deepest part, that we are far more capable to love and give, offer compassion and empathy, when we have settled that we are loved deeply and created for great things.  There is a great life-sucking force that eats us alive and yet we step right up to life’s counter and say, thank you ma’am , may I have another helping!  We ask for more when we are obsessed with searching that radar for what the infamous “they” will think of us.

Now, having put that out there, let’s be clear right here and now.  This blog will not be for every woman.  I will offend some of you.  I will use profanity on occasion.  I don’t use it for shock value, although I am sure it still manages to shock some of you, go figure?  (Read Why I use bad words. @%#*@!* on my FYI and other random thoughts…Page )  But that is the dilema that every writer or artist faces at some point in their journey, if I put this out there, I will face rejection.  And I know it is inevitable and those who know me well know that tough skin is not my forte, however, the scale has tipped in favor of living beyond the pale.  I love writing, I love helping others, I love empowering women to be there very, very best selves.  I love to see them love their families, their communities, their friends and their worlds from a wholeness that comes from having learned who they are and having begun to live that reality out with passion.

I also want to make a couple of things clear, as my folks in Mississippi might say, I don’t have a bone to pick or dog in any fight here.  My life experience has brought me through some very ugly and painful circumstances and I will write about those circumstances.  I am writing about how those circumstances have taught me and affected ME, I don’t have a desire to chat about those who were involved in those circumstances.  So, if I hit a nerve for you and you feel compelled to defend a particular culprit in my past, just go write a seething e-mail, full of all of your angst and then send it to yourself.  I don’t want it, I’m all done being angry and I have no desire to debate or try and change the organizations or institutions of which I have been a part.  I am looking forward.  I think when we become so enmeshed with the organizations and institutions or even ideals with which we align our lives we lose sight of who we are as separate beings, apart from them.  I try to ask myself the question, “why am I so offended when my (fill in the blank) is criticized?” and it helps keep me in check on who I am.  So, if I ruffle your feathers, comb them out yourself, I am not a hair dresser!  I’m just sayin’!

I want to empower women, learn about myself, help other women learn about themselves and laugh all the while.  Life is to be lived fully and gloriously, we were made for it, in spite of the pain and brokenness that surrounds us.  And I think we gotta kick a little ass to make that happen sometimes, we have just let our lives, our passions and our sense of self get buried far too often, so…if it looks a little rebellious…so be it!

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3 Comments so far

  1. Kathryn McCamy Lewis says:

    I love your rants! The rebellion in me really enjoyed you telling all the complainers to keep their complaints to themselves! Rock on with your bad self!

    (classmate of Andy’s at Darlington!) 🙂

    • Jorja says:

      hey kathryn, got a great chuckle from this last night, good to be loved as i am! please stop by anytime.

  2. Lola says:

    Figured I might as well use the name by which you call me when commenting here. . . I love a little rebellion and think it’s good for the soul. I find myself rebelling often in my little semi-rural, conservative-church-wife world whether it be by throwing out a “bad word” when I’m angry or drinking a glass of Merlot in the middle of the afternoon. . .it makes me feel more alive. I can so hear Andy saying that though, as I can completely hear my sweet husband saying the exact same thing!!


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things to make you wonder~

“I am a frayed and nibbled survivor in a fallen world, and I am getting along. I am aging and eaten and have done my share of eating too. I am not washed and beautiful, in control of a shining world in which everything fits, but instead am wondering awed about on a splintered wreck I've come to care for, whose gnawed trees breathe a delicate air, whose bloodied and scarred creatures are my dearest companions, and whose beauty bats and shines not in its imperfections but overwhelmingly in spite of them...” Annie Dillard

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