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0 Comments 23 April 2010

Do you know what a misogynist is?  A misogynist, by definition is: someone who is characterized by a hatred, dislike, or mistrust of women.  Most women would immediately answer a resounding no to that question.  We would attribute that characteristic to some jerk that we knew in high school or worse yet, our boss, brother-in-law or in the worse-case-scenario, our husband.

Yet I want to challenge myself today on my answer.  I want to consider how much care I show for other females.  I want to consider how often I am quick to take a swipe at another woman, quick to bring another woman to her knees, especially when I feel threatened by her.  (Envy is EVIL!)  Do I see it as my responsibility to consider myself an advocate for other women, even when we differ in socio-economic standing, in career paths, in our decisions about relationships or parenting?  In my experience, women, myself included, can be their own worst enemies.  We fail to bear one another up and choose instead to tear one another down.  It is remarkably similar to 7th grade, honestly!

I want to think about who has my back?  Just ask Sandra Bullock, it is a wicked thing to think that someone has your back and then learn that that someone is a misogynistic pig (I’ll save what I would like to call him!).  I want to believe that the women in my life have my back and I have theirs, but on a broader scale, I want to believe that as a gender, women give one another the benefit of the doubt and I need to really examine whether or not I do that well.

As I sat the other morning in my particular corner of the world, also known as my Starbucks, I listened to a neighbor lament the impending demise of her marriage.  One of my girlfriends noted that this was one of several marriages that she knew of that was broken beyond repair and the wives of those respective marriages were heartbroken.  The words that followed were simple, but very true, she said, “what would we do without each other?”  Now, my friend is as happily married as they come, as am I, but we both agree that community among women is the fabric of a healthy society.  Take that away and you have a crumbling chaos.  When the women turn on one another, there is an abysmal mess.  Our modern ways, our computers, our cell phones and all of our technology has endangered our community, our communing together as women.  We have grown more and more inward, self-focused, obsessed with our offspring (a.k.a – children), and forgotten that we stand together, not opposed to one another.

I want to be careful with my words, with my thoughts and with my actions.  I want to consider how I would want to be treated if I were on the other side of a situation.  I have always needed my friends, always thought of myself as an incredibly loyal friend…to MY FRIENDS, but I want to see broadly, and really ask myself, am I a misogynist?  And when I see it in myself, or if you see it in me, I hope you will give me a swift kick in the pants!  We women must stand together…I’m just sayin’?

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things to make you wonder~

“I am a frayed and nibbled survivor in a fallen world, and I am getting along. I am aging and eaten and have done my share of eating too. I am not washed and beautiful, in control of a shining world in which everything fits, but instead am wondering awed about on a splintered wreck I've come to care for, whose gnawed trees breathe a delicate air, whose bloodied and scarred creatures are my dearest companions, and whose beauty bats and shines not in its imperfections but overwhelmingly in spite of them...” Annie Dillard

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